I sometimes wish I had the determination of a top class athlete or the all-consuming interest to study a subject deeply and profoundly such as sociology, politics or medicine but I have to admit I am without a doubt a ‘skimmer’. I skim over my interests at high-speed, digging a little but mostly moving onto new subjects, new interests and new projects at a fearsome rate.
The result of this skimming is multiple unfinished projects that I have grown tired of or I simply feel like I’ve discovered enough to satisfy my curiosity. There was the digital photography (which to be fair I am still trying to work on), the make up artistry diploma (I was bored almost instantly), then there was the Indian Head massage diploma. In fact if I look back I can see that I’ve only really managed to stick at a three-year degree, whereby I changed my subjects quite a few times!
Since the degree I have struggled to ‘stick’ at anything long-term. I have changed my mind almost weekly. Surely I am not the only person out there who has little idea what avenue to parade down? Please tell me there are others who are equally unwilling to commit their life?
Professionally I am struggling to commit to anything but in my personal life I am fully committed, settled and truly satisfied. Is it normal to have such polar variations in your life? I suppose it is, in contrast to me, look at some of the highly successful actresses of our time, typically their personal and romantic life is very uncertain and displeasing to them.
When I compare my personal life the difference is remarkable. Two years ago, my young family and I took the plunge and moved to Australia from Scotland. We had a dream, commited to it and we decided to pursue it. We decided to give it a go. It is comforting to know I do actually have the ability to see things through to the end, but perhaps only if I am passionate about the idea!
In recent months I have started this blog but to be honest there has been many days when I have thought about giving up. Some weeks I feel like no one is really reading my words – they are simply lost in cyber space. I have asked myself-what is the point? I can feel rather alone and my words are lost forever never to be discovered. No doubt all writers have felt a little bit jaded at some time.
But thankfully as I have grown I have realised that sometimes in life we just have to keep chipping away at the things that really do inspire us. I have to keep pushing forward and progressing. I guess for me, one thing has always remained pretty constant and that is my love of the written word. I have always enjoyed reading and studying the lyrics of songs and I have always consumed a vast array of books. Perhaps I have known the answers but have been unwilling to write until now.
It takes a lot of courage to write. It takes a lot of belief in yourself. You have to feel ready to share your words. I had to be willing to share my own thoughts. It’s a very personal thing. Writing works for me because it allows me to skim, it allows me to dig a little about lots of new subjects. It keeps my mind ticking along with new idea’s.
I guess with any interest, any ambition or any dream it takes a lot of courage and a huge leap of faith in your own ability!
What works for you? Have you discovered what path is best for you yet or are you still unsure? Do you have lots of unfinished projects, unfinished dreams or unfinished ambitions?