Ever feel like a less than perfect mother? I know I do.
Some days I feel like I don’t quite measure up. Some days I raise my voice too quickly, I can’t seem to clean or organise the house, the kids are bugging me and I’m running around in circles achieving nothing. Please tell me I’m not alone?
When I feel like this I need to take a huge step back from my reality. I need a little time alone to regroup. Then I can try to be a loving mum again.
There’s something about parenting that makes a person constantly compare and can make me feel like I fall short. Every image around me is telling me how blissfully easy-going family life is. Mothers are baking cakes, laughing throughout and delighting in the magical moments they are creating. Then the next hour they are cycling around town with the kids, picking up groceries and stopping into a cafe for milkshakes. After all that they still find the energy to clean the bathrooms, mop the floors and put on three loads of washing, smiling throughout of course! A multi-tasking, productive but ultimately cheerful mother seems to be the favoured image. Umm I struggle to get dressed and just do the dishes some days!
It’s the school holidays. I am trying desperately to remain calm. There is heavy expectation on the air. I am supposed to entertain during the holidays. Kids nowadays have come to expect days out to over crowded, over priced establishments.It has become the social norm among the working and middle classes. I have to take them to at least something but somehow have to muster up the energy, the dosh and mental enthusiasm.
Some time ago I concluded that it is okay to just let the kids play. It is okay for the kids to feel a little bored. It is also totally okay to not plan every day of their life for them. I have to remind myself of these logical and comforting thoughts when my guilty feelings creep up on me. This week I can reject the role of chief events organiser if I want to. I can cut myself some slack. The kids can use their imaginations. They can entertain themselves and mum can have a rest. And most importantly mum should give herself a break before she finds herself hugging herself and rocking herself in a corner!