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Inspiration, Psychology, Relationships, Society, Women's Issues

Mind the Bitch!

Do you ever bitch?

I’m fascinated by how people conduct themselves in social relationships. Throughout my life I’ve come across all sorts of different people and I’m sure you could say the same. What always shocks me is how quickly a relationship can sour between women in particular. Today I am opening up. I want to be honest and wipe away the pretence that all women are nurturing souls, so here is reality as I see it – women bitch and mostly about each other.

For every kind-hearted and compassionate woman there is sadly a bitch standing close by.

What do I mean when I say bitch? How is this defined? Read on to ensure you can keep a healthy distance from these women.

Well, I could go on and on and have a good old bitch – please excuse the irony! The problem with bitching ? It is catching!  But I will try to keep to the point. Keep in mind that we all have our bad days when we have a bitch and moan but if these behaviours are consistent you could have a bitchy woman in your life.

Some Very Obvious Signs

  • Little respect for other people. Clue – watch how her manners are with waiters/shop workers. Does she ignore them, talk at them-instead of to them, treats them as a nuisance who are there simply to serve her?
  • She is jealous of people and often displays this by bad mouthing them. Consider this quote for a moment, ‘The venom clamours of a jealous woman poison more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.’ William Shakespeare.
  • Makes you believe you can’t live without them. They enjoy the power they have. Cue major superiority complex.
  • Berates you, embarrasses you, pokes fun of you, undermines you. Your self-worth will be beaten to a pulp and dragged down to her very low-level. Misery loves company.
  • Desperate for attention and admiration. She may stop at nothing to be adored by everyone, until she gets bored and finds a new fan club.
  • She has no friends other than you and a few new associates at a push, but no one from her past. She has eradicated all evidence of her bad behaviours or they have dumped her quick smart upon discovery of her true character. Perhaps she will go as far as ensuring you exclude your own friends so you can focus on her.
  • She is self-centred – she matters most. She is obsessed with herself. She’d rather go to the hairdressers than visit a sick friend.
  • She is typically amoral. There is minimal adherence to moral codes. You were there for her? Big deal. She’s already forgot. You have an issue and want to sort it out? Forget it. She will refuse to accept any responsibility.
  • She bitches about people to you. You can be assured you will be next in line and bitched about too! Don’t be fooled into thinking you are safe. No one is safe from this woman’s critical mind. It is only a matter of time until she turns sour and points the finger at you.

What often disturbs me most is the ‘mob mentality’. It is as I mention above-catching. One bad apple is all it takes. If you have enough people around the queen bee who are equally low in self-esteem you could find yourself in a dire situation surrounded by babbling bitching women. It is the stuff of night terrors and hugely common in work places and school play grounds. As they say, bad company ruins good morals.

The trouble with female friendships is the frightening speed that they are often established. It is little surprise that such swift contracts dissolve. Sometimes these dissolved relationships can leave a rather nasty taste. You thought you had a friend but not so.

William Shakespeare clearly had been hurt a lot by friends. I particularly like, ‘Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites, courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears. You fools of torture, trencher-friends, time’s flies‘. William had no doubt experienced some fair weathered friends who had let him down badly.

Or how about this quote by Lewis Carrol, ‘How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly he spreads his claws’.

It can be said that all cruel people try to present themselves as paragons of frankness. They are upfront and forthright. But let’s be honest, in human relationships kindness and diplomacy are champions.

Perhaps we need to stop excusing the bad behaviour. It’s easy to make reasoned assumptions about why these people are obnoxious and ignorant. PMT, low IQ, no tolerance for difference, a closed mind, a problem child hood, pressures of society, inner conflicts, a difficult marriage to name just a few.

But maybe they are just rude? Maybe they simply have a character flaw? Have you ever wondered why some women wear the ‘super bitch’ batch with honour? What’s so cool about being nasty to people? Whatever happened to manners, grace and good will? OK I know that sounds old-fashioned but why not just be polite and watch your mouth?

Why are women so hard on one another? Do women have exceptionally, unrealistic expectations for each other because they have abnormally high expectations of themselves? Why do women have enormous capability for holding a grudge? Does it go back to our past ancestors. Afterall, women would have to be ruthless and manipulative to survive in harsh, unpredictable conditions.

My final word? Treat your relationships like a garden. Tend to your flowers. Water them. Nurture them. Pick out the weeds before they take over your beautiful flowerbed. Pick out the weeds before they grow onto the path. Otherwise you may trip up and fall. Mind your step, mind the bitch.

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About Alana Munro

Writer. Mama to three, wife to one. Red wine consumer.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Mind the Bitch!

  1. Brilliant and so true. This article is top-class – you really should be writing for a top women’s mag or newspaper and be making a fortune. Love the Shakespearian references.

    Posted by Fi | February 25, 2011, 3:48 pm
  2. Hi Alana

    I really enjoyed your article ‘mind the bitch’. I liked the quotes from shakespeare. I have loved reading your wonderful articles.

    Posted by Rachel Webster | February 26, 2011, 9:32 pm

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