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Psychology, Relationships

>Forgiveness is Vital – Learning to let go…


Forgiveness is a concept that is alien to some. I have known too many people in my life who have been outraged when I have suggested they must find forgiveness for their own sake. They roll their eyes, tut, stare at me blankly. What’s with all the anger? Surely this level of anger festering away in your body can’t be healthy. Believe me, I know about inner anger. I have had to find forgiveness many times.

Bitterness is an emotion that can grab hold of your heart. If we carry enough bitterness around it will inevitably spill out and poison other people near by. Some people will be wise and move on swiftly from the inner anger (take it from me, passive aggressive behaviors being a cue!) but other more vulnerable people will suck it all up. The alarm bells don’t ring in their heads. Furthermore, misery can often attract misery. Negative people and their negative emotions can lock together. Positivity and compassion are a dirty words in these circles. 

How can we address this anger, this bitterness, this almighty grudge that consumes some people? I must admit I have tried to help in the past. I have tried to encourage them to let go and move on. Maybe there is another way to look at things? Or maybe not, but let’s try and make a positive change. But it is usually ignored. When people are blinded by anger and past hurt my words can’t get through. People can only let go when they choose to do so.

Forgiveness does not mean letting the ‘wrongdoer’ off the hook. Forgiveness does not mean you are saying what they said or done was acceptable or okay. Most likely what happened was completely unacceptable. Most likely you are right to feel outraged. But if you don’t let go of your inner rage it will ultimately cause you more harm than any other person can.

It is vital for your own mental sanity and well being to forgive. You are aiming to forgive to protect yourself from more grief and anger. It is important to release the pent up frustrations you feel and blow them all away. Hold the anger in your hands. Then open up your palms and blow the anger and bitterness away into the wind. Don’t allow a persons words or actions to consume you. You are in control and you can take back control. Release today and move beyond this person.

Forgiveness is not a gift to the wrongdoer, it is ultimately a gift to ourselves. By forgiving we are freed from our emotional burden. If we refuse to forgive people then we are refusing our own personal happiness. Each moment you remain angry with a person, you are spending more and more days as the victim. You are losing days of your life that you could potentially feel happy. It may be time to release the person, the hurt and the anger from your mind and body.

How do you move on and forgive people who have hurt you or your family? Do you have experiences you would like to share? How do you shield and protect yourself from other people who are negative, bitter or angry deep inside?


About Alana Munro

Writer. Mama to three, wife to one. Red wine consumer.


3 thoughts on “>Forgiveness is Vital – Learning to let go…

  1. >Are you talking from your own personal experience? perhaps?

    Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011, 12:56 am
  2. >Yes sometimes I write from personal experience, sometimes from research and sometimes from other people's experiences of life.

    Posted by Alana | January 18, 2011, 11:59 pm
  3. >“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much” Oscar Wilde

    Posted by Anonymous | January 19, 2011, 12:24 am

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